#59 - Talk Less, Lead More

Mum, do you smell smoke?”

“Yes, it’s just the eggplant.”

It was not the eggplant. I opened my bedroom window, and sure enough a fire was charging from the train station to our house.

Within an hour the Fire Brigade came and went. The Marshall barked some orders, delegated tasks, and the fire was out.

He was a good leader. A textbook leader. We had the smokiest eggplant in town that night and it tasted better than any I’ve had since.

Let’s jump to workplaces. I’ve had managers like that Marshall. Loud, analytical, methodical, decisive.

Marshall captures the senses. During the fire we all looked to him, listened to him, cleared a path for him.

But not everything at work has the urgency of a fire, nor do we focus on a singular task that is so important we forget what’s around us; such as our workplace safety, team dynamics, or having the correct resources and tools to perform.

Incidentally, treating everything at work like fighting a fire is a sure-fire way of getting burnt out. But I digress…

So why is Marshall in charge? Too many boardrooms and team meetings are run by the Marshall type – engaging employees’ senses alone. You hear the voice elaborating on some 4-point plan to hit quotas. See the face demonstrating a fake smile with which you’re supposed to greet customers. Taste the free food at a monthly lunch designed to plaster over any employee dissatisfaction.

Marshall also posts on LinkedIn too much, ensuring we all see his company’s success.

Marshall assaults the senses. He’s a manager, but not a leader.

When I think about the best leaders I’ve worked under, I don’t recall sights or sounds. I think of a safe environment, when the work was fulfilling, when they helped me with my work, when I had a great time with my team.

What do they share? They’re all quiet moments facilitated by understated leadership. Small, influential, nonchalant vistas in my working memory.

We’re not motivated by our senses. We’re motivated by what we feel in our hearts, believe in our minds, how we co-opt in our relationships.

That’s why the eggplant was so important. It wasn’t just how it tasted, it was the relief of having averted catastrophe, the embrace of safety which we may have taken for granted. I don’t remember how it actually tasted, or how the fire actually smelled if I’m honest with you.

I do remember us eating it as a family together that night and the emotions that it elicited.

That’s the power of quiet, influential leaders. They can go past the senses and make you feel something deeper – a sense of purpose or belonging, identity or a shared vision, motivation or desire.

Some people still claim this is ‘weak’ leadership. But in reality, leadership is only ‘weak’ if the connection between boss and worker is so fractured and superficial, it relies on the senses alone.

Leadership is weak when we only superficially engage with our workplaces.