#11 – Fish Eggs and Sham

My girlfriend and I come from big, loud, wonderful Russian families. There’s just one problem – I don’t speak Russian.

I go to Russian restaurants full of vibrant music, great food and lovely people. The pelmeni – Russia’s answer to dumplings – and red caviar are a couple of favourites.

But when well-wishing relatives start speaking to me in Russian, that’s much harder to swallow. I find myself smiling and nodding politely, faking my way through and pretending to understand.

On the inside, I’m wondering exactly where and how I belong.

I’ve felt the same way in conference rooms, offices and meetings while surrounded by lawyers and professionals with intimidating intelligence, great fashion sense and a disarmingly quick wit.

Particularly in a new role, it’s easy to feel fraudulent, overwhelmed or waiting to be found out. And trust me, it’s much easier to smile and nod through a Russian dinner party than your performance review.

Apparently 70% of people will experience imposter syndrome and feel like the office sham. I’ve tried using that insecurity to spur myself on and prove to myself I’m qualified, but that’s dangerous.

So keep learning, keep doing your job and keep track of the progress you make. Write it all down. In a week or a month or a year you’ll be amazed at all the new things you’ve picked up and how capable you really are.

In my case it’s a plethora of legal skills (and a few words in Russian).

Next week: The Vinyl Revolution