#37 – Coming out of my cave, and I’ve been doing.. just fine

You’ll have to forgive me.

Firstly to my readers because I missed last week’s blog. I’ll get to why I missed it.

Secondly to my friends and connections. Since lockdown ended I haven’t gotten to all the brunches, parties, or gigs I’ve been invited to. I haven’t responded to all my messages or returned all the missed calls.

The truth is, I wasn’t ready for lockdown to end. I was clamoring to see family, visit an art gallery and go on long night-walks. I was not ready for small-talk and dinner parties.

I’m a hardcore introvert. I’d love to catch up with you for a quiet beer, but if it’s a big group I’ll zone out and stare at whatever’s behind the bar. What the hell is a Laphroaig anyway?

Then I’ll need a few days to recover. Like I’ve just run a marathon or done a Constitutional Law exam, it’s exhausting listening to Cheryl and Peter talk shop – or worse, go to one of these big social networking events.

I crave a deeper conversation, a closer friend and a quick exit if I start feeling uneasy.

Lockdown has only exacerbated all of this. I missed last week’s blog because one too many dinner parties left me too drained to write.

But I feel tremendously guilty. I want to see you, it’s been way too long in between drinks. I just need to ease into it. Smaller groups, quiet settings, time to myself in between.

And hey, us introverts are great friends (and employees)! We’re loyal, great listeners, deep thinkers, creative problem-solvers, empathetic and deeply reflective. All we need is a little help jumpstarting a conversation sometimes.

I’ve decided to take my introversion for all its strengths and to be true to myself, instead of the guilt that sometimes comes with it.

So there’s nothing wrong with gingerly leaving our homes to remember what’s there. There’s nothing wrong with needing a little more time.

I’m still coming out of my cave and it’s going just fine.

Next week: All Paine, no gain